It started around 9:45 pm on Tuesday evening the 12th in Amy-Rose's beautiful back yard. Five long days after his due date and just moments after one of those badly needed heart to heart conversations about life birth and family. The first contraction wasn't that different than the thousands I'd been having for weeks, but just different enough to get me excited. One more hug for a precious friend and I hastily made my way the five minutes to my home. The screen door was latched (so Pearlie won't run out unnoticed) and nobody could hear my knocking as the third contraction came with an added punch that made it clear something was finally happening. My mom (Grammy) had come down five days earlier, because I was sure the baby was coming any minute, and I don't think she or Matt believed me when I said, "I think this is it". But by the fifth contraction it was clear that we'd better get a move on. Colleen, one of my midwives, arrived shortly thereafter and found me moaning on the living room floor, but the subsequent contractions were a good 10 minutes apart and I apologized for having her come so early. I'd been dilated to 4 cm a whole week ago, but had no idea where we were at now. 20 minutes or so later I asked Colleen to check me anyway. Her eyes widened as she announced, "you're 10 cm with a bulging bag of waters. We need to go NOW." As soon as that wretched contraction subsided I forced myself to stand and move toward the car, praying I'd have 10 minutes before the next one came. Colleen got in back with me and we were off. Matt had just put Pearlie and Rohan to sleep. Grammy called Amy-Rose to come be with the kids so she could follow and join us at the hospital.
Now. This is where I pause to pay my respects to the thousands upon thousands of incredible women who have made this journey before me. I had spent many nights wondering how I was going to cope with the pain of labor during the transition to the hospital and now I was ten centimeters in the back of the car. I visualized swearing at people who gawked in the elevator or asked me to sign paperwork in the lobby. I feared I'd alienate the staff in my primal state and then endure days of karmic retribution in the form of angry nurses and doctors. Here is how it really went down:
I finished another wailing contraction in the car (water still in tact and still no urge to push) then scooted onto a fancy wheel chair under the beautiful new car port thing at Riverbend. The chair had handles just low enough to allow me to push up so I wasn't sitting on that bulging bag of waters as they rushed me through the lobby. There was no stopping to sign papers, no passing go, no collecting $200, and, incidentally, nobody but us in the elevator. We entered a brand new stark white room and there was a flurry of activity. "It is so bright," I moaned. I couldn't believe they thought I was going to endure this kind of pain under those hideous lights. "Go into the bathroom and take off all your clothes." Having long since lost my logical thinking mind to my welcome animal state, this order sounded eerily like something a female police officer or guard might say during intake at the prison. Colleen followed me into the bathroom where I began to complain about the lights again, and helped me into a gown. I came back out and climbed onto the bed for another contraction and round of loud moaning and complaining about the lights during which time they also were strapping stuff on me, I presume to track the fetal heart rate and contractions. Then the doctor on call came in and spoke with me. My OB was on the way, but this guy was my second best choice if she couldn't make it in time. He knew my midwives would be there with me and would allow them to catch the baby barring any complications. I discussed with him the possibility of breaking my waters because I wondered if maybe the pain localized in my lower abdomen would be a little less and because I'd started to wonder why I was 10 cm dilated but still had no urge to push. We didn't have much time to chat. As I headed to the bathroom again, I blurted out that this reminded me of, "that party in high school where the cops came and I was too sick to make a run for it." Liz Brierly, my other midwife, had arrived, and she and Colleen were trying to figure out how to turn down or out the lights in the bathroom. (BLESS THEM!) Matt came in and I rested my head on his shoulders and complained about how uncomfortable those straps and that hard plastic thing were around my belly. In spite of my altered state, I clearly remember thinking that later it would be so funny to tell people that the switch to turn off the lights ended up being the intimidating red one that said "emergency". This was the first of many funny little things the fancy new hospital had. One more big one and my waters broke and everyone went into even faster motion as we all knew this meant the baby. I moved back to the bed, forgoing the padded blanket I'd brought and Liz had so lovingly arranged on the floor for me (I labored on the floor with both Rohan and Pearl and couldn't imagine being on that narrow bed during my last trimester, so I made the blanket so I could set aside that fear). No sooner had I positioned myself on hands and knees on the bed than another contraction came, this time with lots of push and I'm pretty sure he was all the way out by the end of it. Matt says that Sean Michael's head was coming and that he was the only one there to notice, so he said, "uh, guys!" and the Dr. said, "get ready to catch him, Matt." Cool, huh! Matt says then that his head emerged with his left hand followed by his whole arm before his body. I was enormously relieved to have the laboring over with and began to be curious about his face. It took a few moments to get him suctioned and the two of us situat
ed so I could hold him, but I knew he was fine because he was wailing up a storm. Time of birth 12:44 am. Just three hours after labor began.It was a marvelous moment. He was huge and fat and looked so healthy. His cleft lip and protruding front alveolar ridge looked a lot like hundreds I'd seen during the time I spent learning about this condition. We were shocked that he had hair, but it looked not red or blonde, but brown. He almost immediately opened his eyes and spent time looking around. I put him to my breast and you could tell how strong is by how voraciously he worked to nurse. I knew already that with this type of cleft he would not be able to create the suction necessary to draw out the milk, but that first moment at my breast was just as precious as with Rohan or Pearl. And so our journey getting to know Sean Michael began.
ed so I could hold him, but I knew he was fine because he was wailing up a storm. Time of birth 12:44 am. Just three hours after labor began.It was a marvelous moment. He was huge and fat and looked so healthy. His cleft lip and protruding front alveolar ridge looked a lot like hundreds I'd seen during the time I spent learning about this condition. We were shocked that he had hair, but it looked not red or blonde, but brown. He almost immediately opened his eyes and spent time looking around. I put him to my breast and you could tell how strong is by how voraciously he worked to nurse. I knew already that with this type of cleft he would not be able to create the suction necessary to draw out the milk, but that first moment at my breast was just as precious as with Rohan or Pearl. And so our journey getting to know Sean Michael began. Once the baby was born and I began to come back to my civilized senses, it turned out that we had the best labor and delivery nurse ever. She had read my birth plan and praised my midwives for making her job so easy. Minutes after Sean Michael was born she brought me all the waivers I needed to sign and was an absolute joy to interact with. She was funny too about all the glitches this new hospital came with, which was much better than being annoyed or stressed. She lovingly delivered us to our mother/baby room where we were handed off to our night nurse. Our night nurse taught us how to use and clean the breast pump, a device I'll spend lots of time with over the next year or more. She made sure Sean Michael's head was always elevated above his hips (to avoid the choking common to cleft palate newborns) and was patient, kind and super knowledgable about caring for and feeding a baby with a cleft palate. You have no idea how relieved and pleased we were to have that kind of support. It made all the harshness and coldness of birth at the hospital totally worth it. I pumped my colostrum and we fed him by putting it in a syringe with a skinny tube attached that we taped to my finger. He sucked on my finger and we pressed the syringe in tiny increments. He did great! From the first feeding Sean Michael never really did all the choking, gagging and spitting up we'd heard so much about. It felt really satisfying to know that he was well nourished.
The next day my mom, Grammy, brought the kids to meet their new brother. Rohan got all dressed up in his sport coat and tie, which he had pick out. They were so precious as they cautiously approached me, but quickly settled in and acted like themselves. Rohan wanted to feel the baby squeeze his finger. Grammy took them to the gift shop to pick out little gifts for Sean Michael and Sean Michael gave them gifts too. Pearlie carried her new doll everywhere imitating me with Sean Michael and Rohan's new nerf basketball hoop is hanging over our front door.
We received an abundance of support from all kinds of professionals while at the hostipal and every one was prepared, knowledgable, kind and helpful. Lactation consulting, great nurses who spent lots of time with us while we learned to feed him and even teaching us new ways to burp him, a pediatrician, an occupational therapist who showed us how to use the Haberman Feeder and I'm sure I'm forgetting something else. It was more than we could have hoped for. The people made it great for us!!
